Confessions to my boyos 1

The first crush

There was one before you who could almost take your place and the one after you was just something more than a crush so he doesn't count. The useless honour of being my first goes exclusively to you.

You were told to sit next to me and I believe at that moment I couldn't stand the sight of you. I get nervous when I have to be near guys not that any of my guy friends ever believe that. I'm a full tomboy now and its not that strange when I chase a guy down in the middle of Priya because now that's normal. Then, you were hi-jacking Madhur's seat, a crime I'm yet to forgive anybody of. One week I was friendless and had to bear with you. It was excrutiating to my 12 yr old self but hell you were interesting.

I remember that you cried when we got our first test results back it was math and me and Madhur had topped it while you had gotten quite low from what you expected. You were the first boy I had seen crying and I felt strange. I wanted you to stop but knew nothing I would say would work but I tried anyways.

I remember the day I was sick and you and Madhur made me laugh while I was about to cry/sleep in my fever. I remember the jokes you told for more than the reason that they were funny. It was the first time I considered you a friend and the last day I sat with you.

We worked together for that project and it drove me insane to work with you. Of all the bloody people in that class only you were interested in the same project as mine. We won 2nd prize, though I yelled at you for leaving me unprepared on the stage, I owe a lot of that victory to you. If you hadn't stood there smiling up at me I would have dropped dead on stage. Though I still blame you for majority of the origin of my stage fright.

I didn't see you much after that. I declared to my friends that you were public enemy 1 and refused to so much utter your name. Madhur still got along fabulously with you. I remember cursing my self the day I realised I had a crush on you. But it lasted somehow. Even through that friendship of yours with that girl who I hated and we all teased you with cause your names were alike. You always brought a smile to my face even when I swore to my friends I couldn't stand you. When we went to different classes I'd always follow you with my eyes whenever you were around. First crushes are really hard to forget.

I submitted an article into the magazine you edited, just in the hopes you'd see my name and think of me. I'm obsessive that ways but really truthfully speaking, it was just a teenage crush, cute but I don't think I would have ever actually liked you if you were my boyfriend. I never really fell for you. I'm sure you'd have made a good friend though.



I just need to get these out of system, I need to stop what if - ing