Wednesday, May 23, 2007

lonely lively existence

Written on the other side of the country, a month ago in gnommish...
I'm sure
a week full of silence
and lazy afternoons
and early nights
and simple slow existence
may be a nice vacation.
From fast paced lives
which rotate and revolve
at break-neck speeds
giving dizzy views
of everything around
But for me
and you may gladly blame my youth
the breakneck speeds were comforting...
Give me back my deafening noise
my dizzying horizons
I prefer action packed adventures
and passion filled stories
to these calm haze filled days
Give me the crowds,
the honks and the loud music
the chaotic life
I have adopted as my own
So I may learn again
the value of this uneventful soltitude
not exactly un-invited
but not exactly welcomed either.
Let me go.
Leave my lonely lively existence in peace
I may have a kinship with silence,
but this consistent nothingness
is annoying.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Beautiful blue ceiling

"I'm tired of yelling at my ceiling"
my beautiful blue ceiling
absorbing my screams like water
dissolving the unanswered questions
and returning drops of silence...
"let me at least speak to you"
crying out loud,
i don't want to be happy
though being ridiculously happy
does feel nice.
For a while i want to weep
and let the flood gates open
argue with someone who has ears
who listens

who cares
I don't want to be "normal"
I don't wan
t to pretend it's all ok
I don't want to pretend that I don't know a thing
Let me,
let go
of all of it
and hold on to you.
Let the world crumble to dust
let the oceans dry up
let the hungry starve
I'm caring most of the time...
I deserve being selfish
sometimes...
So let me shout
into a silence that only you hear
let me cry
into your hands that will catch my tears
let me collapse
into someone who'll take care of me
just for a while
just till I get up again
just till the facades go up
just till... I can face life again.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Because this needs to be read

I don't enjoy running into myself, worse still people who remind me of my past self because most of it I would never wish on any body. I hate not being even minutely unique. I hate standing out and blending into the wallpaper, but some expections I'll make.

Go and read this... it isn't mine i'm just patronizing/promoting it.
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2246367/1/