Facades

As the princess -not queen- of facades I can confidently make a small assuption about them... they are not constructed out of thin air... most facades are not constructed after careful planning as to what would suit them best and some people are simply too passionate to be hidden by mere facades. Sometimes, a lot but not all the times a facade isn't a facade actually but it is a manifestation of what one wants to be if his or her emotions were not in the way. You do want to smile and laugh and joke just because it would be such a better place to be in than screaming in rage. You do want to help somebody else when you'd rather curl up in a corner and weep for your insulting specimen of a life because other people's problem are usually a welcome relief from yours.
You can make believe with everyone, including yourself, that your life didn't crash down into a million hurtful peices. As a friend once told me if you paste up a smile long enough it sticks. If you pretend to be light hearted long enough then for awhile you actually become light hearted.
And if you decide to show someone what lies on the other side of the facade remeber that they won't forget it. They'll might constantly, continously bug you about it until you wish you never told them which is why most people don't do so in the first place. but once in a blue moon if you come across someone like my self who ,blessed with an expressive face and eyes could not lie ordinairily, figured the only way she could make anyone else believe something was to believe it in herself. And I know with the uncanny sense that most people know that we are not alone in this vast universe that there are more people like me...
We'll pretend with you, we'll ignore whatever you want us to ignore until you don't want us to. We'll still be here when you want to fix it, when you don't want to put in the effort in holding a facade up any longer, when you simply want to hide from the rest of the "cruel, unkind, unfeeling" world and we'll respectfully look the other way while you put the peices all back together. You have an option... you could either rot behind that facade and patch it up with new ones or join us... and we'll teach you how to live both lives and enjoy it...

For the imp

Don't you dare judge me...

It's not my pain
not my hurt, not my anger
It doesn't even remotely concern me
So why do I insist on borrowing it?
Why do I wish to seek permission
to dislike the person who causes it?
If it is futile to offer help
why does my soul still be ready to give it?
It is not for the man that owns my heart
but for the crazy boy who makes me laugh.
Am I even allowed to be concerned?
Anger flushes through my blood
and protectiveness rises again.
It isn't my battle to fight...
I have plenty of my demons to fight
So why do I worry about his?
Should I be concerned that they are taken care of?
The situation troubles me alone
and why it does torments me further...
Someone solve this puzzle....

A little random philosophy

If today were your last day on Earth? How would you spend it?" - Meredith Gray

Everyone asks you this one... at one point in life or the other... even if it was part of the craziest or the most sane conversation.
If today were your last day on Earth? How would you spend it?
and you always think you know the answer... you know that you'll want to spend it with whoever you love the most, you know that you'll say I'm sorry, I forgive you, I love you exactly when you want to say it and to who you really want to say it. you'd do the most insane daring thing you could do... cos after that...you just will never have the time.
But so many people don't do that... You could have the biggest fight of your lifetime and then be struck by lightning, you could yell I hate you...even you don't really mean it and then be hit by a bus, you could let the opportunity to fly pass and then dissolve into pink mist... but every body thinks they know the answer to the question. So this is mine...

Yes, I would like to spend it with the people I love the most and every cliched thing there is to it. I would like to actually wake up in the arms of my lukha and have him give a soft good morning kiss before coaxing me out of bed... I would like to see a sunrise from the terrace garden of my house. I would like to drink my first full cup of coffee as the sun comes up. I'd like to go to class and laugh at the antics. I'd like to bungee jump. I'd like to have a 3 hour lunch with my best friends where I can sit for a moment ,content, and drink in the laughter and happiness that surrounds me... I'd like to hold my niece...I'd like to see a sunset from a flyover... I'd like to come home to hug my mum, annoy my dad, laugh with my sis, play with my dog and leave without any regrets. I'd like to dance in a disc... crazy dance like I do in my room, drive my lukha insane with moves he wouldn't expect his innocent jhalli to pull, I'd like to break the first guy's nose who teases me... I'd like a walk down a moonlit road discussing random stuff...I'd like to retire finally, a book and a chocolate in hand, reading until my eyes won't hold up any longer, slip into his arms and sleep...

But most of all, I don't want to know it's my last day... I don't want to cling desperately to my friends...I don't want to see my last sunset with red swollen eyes, I don't want to fall sobbing in the middle of my room, I don't want think of the what ifs, I don't want to worry how everyone will be taken care of, I don't want to wonder how he'll survive, I don't want to waste my last day like that...

All smart, intelligent logic would tell me to live each day as I've planned my last and one day I'll be right. But that's what I can't do...I'd still fight with my friends, I'd still refuse to speak to him for an hour, I'd still sit at home and read seemingly mindless stories. I will do what logic defies because the answer I have wasn't constructed by wondering about it, It was constructed by living it and of dreaming it. It was made out of an ordinary day...and ordinary days aren't perfect... I'll take my fights and fits and apparent boredom cause It's Life...

randomly yours...