Beautiful blue ceiling

"I'm tired of yelling at my ceiling"
my beautiful blue ceiling
absorbing my screams like water
dissolving the unanswered questions
and returning drops of silence...
"let me at least speak to you"
crying out loud,
i don't want to be happy
though being ridiculously happy
does feel nice.
For a while i want to weep
and let the flood gates open
argue with someone who has ears
who listens
who cares
I don't want to be "normal"
I don't want to pretend it's all ok
I don't want to pretend that I don't know a thing
Let me,
let go
of all of it
and hold on to you.
Let the world crumble to dust
let the oceans dry up
let the hungry starve
I'm caring most of the time...
I deserve being selfish
sometimes...
So let me shout
into a silence that only you hear
let me cry
into your hands that will catch my tears
let me collapse
into someone who'll take care of me
just for a while
just till I get up again
just till the facades go up
just till... I can face life again.